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| bored bored bored....
nothing new but the fact that i'm home. 
saw An American Haunting a few weeks ago with mother....
IT SUCKED SO DON'T SEE IT! At least in my book it did. I told Kyle it was good, but I was just being nice to the guy since he recommended it. But, once again, Hollywood ruins a really good story. 
why am i not surprised? | | |
| It's been a long time kids, and I just kinda realized that it's beginning of the end of the school year! Shocking isn't it??? Only two and a half weeks here up at Temple, then it's down to Lancaster for 4 months of summer work and a trip to Puerto Vallarta. : ) But I might as well take a break from the piles of work around me and give a small end of the year wrap up....
To all the high schoolers at home, who are seniors, this one goes out to you. After all, once you graduate high school and are off to college you'll be off with a fresh new canvas and palette to do with as you wish. Of course it doesn't really hit you until you are actually at college and realize that your usual groups and clicks have broken apart and have scattered themselves into the winds, and you can do nothing but do the same. And when you finally get there, the reintegration into the same but different society starts all over again with the meeting of new friends and the keeping in touch with the old ones who are far away.
Take it from me, I've experienced the first year of college, and it has taught me a lot. I'm very sure it will teach all of you something as well.... How could I say this? The first year of college is the first page of an unwritten story, and as the story goes along you see how people can really change and develop. This first year has really shown me the best and worst of people. Not to mention the drama you can encounter here is almost nothing like what you encounter in high school. Trust me, I'm living in the dorm hall that's been dubbed the Campus Soap Opera. Haha. And I've even been the leading lady in a few shows too. : P Well, that is if you me who was wishing to be a star. Haha. But either way, I've been in my fair share of "Melodramatics."
But to be serious, I would really like to extend my biggest thank you's to a few very good people that I've met while being here. But first, as many of you know, I don't see the world as a good place, and I cannot help but think that all people are out for their own gain, but... I think these people have shown me how good the world can just really be.
To Evan Denion: ‚Ç‚à‚ ‚肪‚Æ‚¤‚²‚´‚¢‚Ü‚µ‚½I‚«‚Ý‚Í‚Æ‚Ä‚à‚₳‚µ‚¢‚Å‚·IAnd how you could ever put up with me is something I will never understand! Personally, I cannot help but feel like I've been a burden this entire semester, but you and the others have dealt with me with the most patience I've ever seen. I cannot thank you enough! Oh and thanks for all the laughs, smiles, and understanding!
To Sara Jordan: Thanks so much for being the one who understands when no one else wouldn't! I don't know how you do it, but you take care of all of us so well! Even though you claim it's just "dealing with it," I say give yourself A LOT more credit. You have no idea how much you and Evan have done for me, and if I tried to list them, this journal entry would never end. So Thank You so much!
Dan Byrne: Well... I can't say I know anything about Metallica or Iron Maiden or anything about "Hair Bands," but hey you like what you like. Thank you for giving me a few good laughs and large smiles. And thanks for some of the times when I needed someone to talk to when the others were missing. : ) Thanks.
To Josh Male: Here's to a truly unique-ish person with a rather... Interesting personality... Despite the fact you claim you're "not a nice guy," you're still giving off that "nice guy" air. If you don't want me to think that then don't make me laugh so much when I'm with you, Evan, and Dan! Haha.
Ah god... I sound like a bad yearbook entry.... But Highschool seniors back home, believe me, there will be times when you are away and cannot help but wish it were the "good old days" again. But after being here, especially with the changes I made at the start of the second semester, and experiencing such a large change, I'm slowly learning to stop living in the past and just live like you may die the very next day. At least that's what I've learned, and that's what Larry's passing has showed me. So seniors. Good luck! And when the fall comes, just remember one thing, if ANYONE is gonna make you comprimise what you are just to statisfy them since they're your "friend" just don't do it. Yes, it sounds like an after school special, but I'm being serious. I've experience this first hand, and it sucks. Just dump those friends once they say something like that, and believe me you will be better off. : ) | | |
| Now for a real post.....
So... I'm currently sitting in my dorm drinking a cup of cocoa out of the new mug I ordered off deviant art. So yea...
Missed my first class today since I was so tired from last night's partying. The others, minus Nick, are out partying tonight. I didn't got since I wanted to do some thinking. Nick's at home working so he can get cash to finish recording his c.d. I don't know if I like his music or not, but I give him credit. He's doing what I could never do.
So what I've been doing for the past few nights:
Starving on Wensday since there was NO PARTIES WHAT-SO-EVER and I had eaten, but didn't get to bed until 1:00 am +.
Partied on Thursday with the gang and two of Nick's frat brothers. Things got a little uncomfortable with the one which made my instincts the flash danger signal over and over. So I fled after hanging out or a little while longer.
Thinking, thinking, and thinking about all the things that have happened during this past semester and all the years and semesters before it. And still thinking about the feelings I've still got for a certain someone from a few years ago, and how I'm currently longing for a boy in my bed. [Well not really, but you know I want someone to make the nights a little less lonely....]
Oh well... | | |
| Muichimotsu....
"If you meet your father, kill your father. If you meet the Buddah, kill the Buddah. Free of everything, bound by nothing, live your life exactly as it is."
To live your life exactly as it is, to live and see things as their are on the surface. To read into things deeper and get hurt when others have mislead you unlike the instincts that you read into once again have proved right when all others have proved wrong.
I was never a girl for poetry... But... I think I'll give it a small shot...
Until I met you. . . .
I was never a girl for many words until I met you.
I suddenly saw my darkened world take on a brightly colored hue.
The world suddenly changed before my eyes.
With greener grass with bluer skies.
The winter of life suddenly turned to a glorious spring and summer overflowing with a golden light. .
. . . Until you took your sudden flight. . .
The winter has returned harsher than it was before.
I cannot take the loneliness and sadness anymore.
I long for the spring and the summer.
But the real seasons are nothing but a bittersweet reminder.
The paradise I had found in you is gone. Buried under the hills of snow and coldness inside me.
No more trees, and no more flowers, I am emprisoned in an icy hell longing to be free.
I was never a girl of many words until I met you.
The masks in the real world dance around me as I wonder who is truly who.
I was never like this. . . Until I met you. . . | | |
| A few interesting thoughts of the past few weeks....
I might as well tell you all about it now as I'm sure it might keep things interesting for those that actually read this thing... Anyway... Here's what happened on January 27th....
Nick had gone home for the weekend to do some studio work. I was still distraught over a few issues, and I figured it was a good time to go out with everyone for a few drinks and an excuse to drown my sorrows in alcohol. Meanwhile, Sara had a few friends of hers come over, and Greg had his cousin, Kevin, over for the night. I believe Sara's friends' names were Erin and Mariah. Evan came with us for his traditional once a semester outing.... Then... The trouble started as soon as we got to the frats...
Erin [and possibly Mariah] began flirting with Greg while I quickly had two beers. I talked with Greg too. Kevin quickly got himself several beers and shots while trying to get with a college girl. Problem in that: HE'S UNDERAGE!!!! He even tried getting with Erin and Mariah, but they were like 'ew no' or at least said something in that kind of tone. [Those who were there please correct me if I'm wrong.] Thanks to a few more issues, Erin, Sara, Mariah, Evan, Josh, and Dan left, and Dan punched the frat house wall and a metal sign about 3 times as hard as he could [according to what I hear]. This left me, Greg, and Kevin back at AXP. Greg took three shots of tequilla, and Kevin was buying his own set of shots. Then, Greg bought me two tequilla shots of my own. NOT A GOOD IDEA! THUS! We go back to Nick and Evan's room [they're roomates if you didn't know by now] just to hang out. I was drunk and feeling absolutely awful so I somehow made it to Nick's bed and passed out. Erin soon after when I found myself a quarter conscious and unable to move was bitching because Nick promised his bed to her, and I was passed out and sick in it. DO THE WORDS 'PASSED OUT AND SICK' NOT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU, YOU LITTLE BITCH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Grah.... So yea... Kevin tried to move me, and I threw up. Go figure. When I next woke up, Dan and Greg helped me to my bathroom. I got rid of all my clothing and slept on Nick's be with nothing but a towel for a blanket. And being the sweet guys they are, Dan and Greg took care of me! I think Evan did too, but I can't remember... CURSE MY ALCOHOL ISSUES THAT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After that... I was passed out for the rest of the evening..... | | |
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